I was not meant to be the dumping ground for them nor a scapegoat. I was just as lost and had no idea what was going on inside the family.
Secondly I was just an empath who feels emotions deeply. Hurting me was part of the training ground for me to trust solely on myself.
As I grew I learned many hard life lessons. The most devious yet frustrating part was when the people who showed care never had any remorse or even tried to learn its own mistake.
The only thing I could do to preserve the energy and save myself was just isolation and even I stopped visiting my cousins for their weddings and became an avoidant.
When I say I “became an avoidant,” I mean avoidant attachment — a pattern of pulling back to protect myself. This isn’t a DSM-5 diagnosis. The DSM-5 lists Avoidant Personality Disorder, a clinical condition of extreme social avoidance and fear of rejection, but attachment styles aren’t diagnoses. I’m describing a coping response, not a disorder.
